It seems unreal that six months have passed since Hayden was born.  It is true that time seems to fly by once you start a family.  The past month alone has been crazy! Hayden is developing so quickly…it doesn’t seem fair! I want to soak  everything in and really experience it but then he is on to the next thing. H will be quite the go-getter I think. In the past two months he has started all kinds of things:

• Really crawling! He wants to crawl so fast all the time that he gets little bruises on his knees, poor guy!
• Pulling himself to a standing position and reaching for things that he wants! He has pulled down a couple of water glasses off the coffee table so far; then I learned and didn’t put them there any more, haha!
• Making letter sounds! He is saying “Goo” “Dadadadada,” “Mamamamamama,” “Babababababa”. I know he is just making a new sound, but I like to pretend he is saying Momma and Daddy.
• He wants to drink out of cups! Most of the time we just let him think he is drinking when he is not actually getting anything. But this past week we gave him some water in his sippy cup and he LOVED it. It makes him feel like a big boy, especially if he gets to have his cup at dinner time when we all sit together.
• Veggies! He has started eating some sweet potatoes and squash this past week! He loves it! It is a challenge, because he wants to feed himself, but also very fun. We put food on the spoon and then put the spoon in his hand and help him guide it into his mouth. FYI – he HATES peas, hahaha! We will have to try those again later.
• Communicating. He is an excellent communicator. He has particular signs he makes when he wants certain things.  We have decided to start learning  some sign language so that we can encourage this type of communication.
• Teeth! His two bottom teeth have popped out! For some reason, I expected all kinds of fussing and fever, etc. But all that happened was a ton of drool for two months and then one day I felt teeth. Crazy!

Hayden is a very social person. He needs to talk to people throughout the day. He doesn’t have to be held constantly any more, but he does want you close by while he is playing on the floor so he can converse with you. He is very unhappy if he can’t have a hug or a personal conversation with some good eye contact every so often.  We are so happy with how he is developing his independence.  I firmly believe that he is doing so well now because we followed his cues when he was younger and didn’t put him down if he was against it. We taught him that he can trust us to be there when he needs us.

This carries into bed time as well. He still wakes up to eat a few times a night,  but that is expected because he is breast-fed.  He sleeps next to me still and now he just sort of serves him self when he is hungry at night. I don’t even have to open my eyes and neither does he so we get wonderful sleep. Because of this, Hayden loves bedtime. He goes to bed every single night at 8pm; all we have to do is play his good night music and lay him down for sleep. And in the morning he wakes up completely happy and rejuvenated! He talks to us the most in the morning; I wonder if he is telling us all about his dreams, haha! I know a lot of our friends are against bed sharing, but we don’t smoke or drink or take any kind of medication so we are not considered high risk for sharing a bed and in fact we are lowering the risk of SIDS because we nurse throughout the night during sleep. This is what works for our family;  the rest of you can do what works for your family whether it is the same or different  and we will all be happy!

Hayden is also moving to a new day care on Monday. It is a bittersweet transition for us. Hayden loved his friends and teachers at his current school (La Petite Academy), but we wanted him in a different type of environment that is more in line with our family values (Mission Montessori School). At Mission, we will be able to use cloth diapers (which we use at home now), glass bottles instead of plastic (this is important when it is 140 degrees in the car every day), we wont have to deal with Hayden getting rashes from harsh detergents, or worry about pesticides inside the building and outside in the play area. Additionally, Mission will allow us to provide Hayden with expressed breast milk for as long as we want (there was a limit at LPA).  This is very important to us.  There is also a difference in the environment. They keep the lights low, play soft music, and don’t have any bouncy seats or saucers where they put the babies. They have tunnels and mats all on the floor instead.  We will see how it goes. The new school website is here:

http://www.missionmontessori.com/OurSchools/Infant/tabid/768/Default.aspx

I think I will give it a break for now. Hayden has been sleeping for the past hour and I am sure he will wake up soon! These photos were taken by Debra Sorensen.

We heard from some other moms that traveling in the morning works best because babies are more likely to sleep and the temperature in the car would be lower. This made sense to us so we planned  our car rides for the morning hours.

We woke early on Sunday morning and packed up the car. The camp site was near Black Canyon Lake about a two-hour drive from our house. Hayden slept almost the whole way and it didn’t get too hot; those other moms were right! We spent the day at the lake where Hayden and Sadie (this was also her first camping trip) experienced all of the new surroundings. Hayden stared at the water and the trees. He also loved crawling around the grass and dirt. I tried to keep him in the shade but he kept crawling away! Sadie stuck to the ground. She sniffed non stop until she got tired of being in the sun. Then she napped under the umbrella with Hayden, it was cute.

Jason pointed out all of the trees and animals that Hayden was seeing for the first time. He also walked into the lake and dipped Hayden’s feet in; the water was a little too cold for swimming. After we finished playing at the lake, we hung out at the camp site around the fire.

Hayden really enjoyed staring into the fire, haha!  We just relaxed and talked with the friends we were camping with. Hayden was happy to just sit with us and join in the conversation. He gabbed all night long to everyone and didn’t get fussy until he was ready to sleep.  When it was his bed time, he slept on our chests while we sat in chairs and we stayed up a bit later and made  s’mores! I also had a wine cooler…it was delicious! Finally, we made our way to the tent and cuddled up for sleep. Sadie slept at our feet and Hayden slept between us. He didn’t make a peep all night, just woke up in the morning at his usual time with a smile on his face. What a good boy!

We ended the trip by leaving early on Monday  so we could stick with the morning driving and avoid the heat. Again, it worked perfectly! I think we may go camping again this summer. We had tons of fun! You can see all of our pictures at our flickr site:

Camping!

• You smile at us a lot. You have the cutest dimples!
• You laugh when I kiss your belly
• You try to grab our faces…especially Dad’s beard
• You don’t growl when you sleep any more…so sad!
• You grab things with your hands now…we think you might be left handed!
• You reach for us when others are holding you.
• You like your day care teachers, Ms. Kirby and Ms. Olivia :)
• You are constantly moving your fingers and toes!
• I miss you terribly when I am at work.

• His beautiful brown baby  hair is falling out,  blond hair is growing in
• He can roll over from his tummy to his back, but not his back to his tummy
• He has only had one or two actual tears
• His eyes are still blue, Jason is sure they are getting lighter (instead of darker)
• Outside is his favorite place to be, we go on walks and lounge by the pool to breath the fresh air and listen to the birds
• When we are sleeping, he likes to roll onto his side and try to nurse without waking me up (hopefully he never rolls the wrong way to try and nurse with Jason, haha!)
• He gets cranky around 5pm every day but he wont fall asleep for a nap (I think it is because he doesn’t want to miss his dad getting home from work)
• He makes the cutest baby sounds ever :)
• He uses his very large baby hands to massage whatever he is touching…like an arm or neck
• He pulls hair!
• His favorite position is the “Superman!” with Dad

Time for bed!

I usually reply with the truth and how I honestly feel about it. He is doing fantastic! He wakes about every three hours to eat, which is completely normal for a baby his age. Most people don’t realize that babies just aren’t designed to sleep through the entire night at such a young age. They are supposed to wake up a few times to eat since their tummies are so little. It really isn’t as bad as it sounds though; at least not for me.

Hayden does not cry when he wakes , he just gurgles until I wake up to feed him. I attribute this to the fact that he sleeps with us in our bed. All I have to do is roll over to feed him and then we can both go back to sleep. It is very convenient. Since he has learned to roll over, he now just rolls onto his side and hits me in the chest with his head and his fists until I wake up to feed him.

He sleeps in your bed? That is the next question I usually get. Yep! It works out for both Jason and I and it keeps Hayden happy.  It minimizes crying time and maximizes sleeping time – it’s perfect! Plus, it is a great way for us to bond. We read bed time stories to Hayden after he is in his pjs and then we cuddle and fall asleep.  I was nervous about this at first…I didn’t want one of us to roll over onto him or to get a blanket on his face. But we learned about some basic co-sleeping safety guidelines and I feel really good about going to bed each night:

• We have a firm mattress and Hayden sleeps on his back
• Hayden sleeps away from the wall and edges of the bed
• We keep the ceiling fan on at night to keep the air circulating
• We don’t sleep with heavy blankets and we don’t put them on Hayden, we just dress him in warm jammies

Also, I thought these books were helpful on this subject:

• Good Nights Jay Gordan
• The Baby Sleep Book Sears Parenting Library

I feel really lucky that our sleep situation has been working out so well.  He will continue to sleep with us until we are ready to transition him into his own bed.

We started our day by driving Jason to work this morning so I could have the car all day. Then we stopped at Cayenne (my company) to figure out details like where I am going to pump during the day when I go back and what my job responsibilities are going to be. It was fun to see people I know and to show off Hayden.  I am happy because the office manager was very helpful and she is going to put blinds up on the door to one of the file rooms and add a lock.  This may seem like a weird place  for pumping, but since we are a small company there aren’t many options. I am just happy this room is available and I don’t have to pump in the bathroom.  This was causing me some major stress but now that there is a plan in place I feel much better about it. Hayden was very good during the visit!

We also met up with a friend for lunch at Chic fil A. It was the first time I have taken Hayden out with out Jason. It went well. Although I had to feed him and change him at CFA, it was easier than I thought it would be. I was able to enjoy my lunch out and chit chat with Stephanie while Hayden just watched everything going on around him. Stephanie brought her 7 month old daughter Avala…she is so cute! She was sitting in the high chair seat next to Hayden and she reached over and grabbed Hayden’s arm. Adorable!

This has been a nice social day…not typical! Usually Hayden and I stay home and relax together. Here is our typical routine:

• 5am – Hayden wakes up to eat and get a diaper change
• 6am – Jason takes Hayden for some daddy time and lets me sleep a bit
• 6:45am – I get up and make breakfast so we can enjoy the meal together before Jason goes to work
• 7-8am – I watch the Today show and nurse Hayden
• 8-9:30am – Hayden and I nap
• 9:30-5:00pm – Tummy time, walks outside,  walking around the house,  nursing, napping, and diaper changing!

That’s right, every day is pretty much the same. However boring it sounds, it is amazing to be getting to know Hayden this way and I love every minute of it!!

Additionally, I created a new page on this blog site; I will post a picture of Hayden once a month to show his growth. There will also be pictures on our flickr site a lot more often :)

Hayden Liam

Born at Home

February 27, 2010

1:50 p.m.

10 Pounds, 5 Ounces

22 Inches

Jason and Melissa Toman

Sadie, Shear, Moment, and Monkey-Face

Hayden was born one week ago today (I started writing this on Saturday).  I finally have enough energy to write down his birth story. Not everything went according to plan, but since we were mentally prepared for unexpected events it all worked out.

We were at the end of our 40th week together. Contractions started at about 3am Friday morning 2/26. I didn’t wake Jason; they were not that strong so I tried to sleep through them (I didn’t get much sleep). The next morning we went to a previously scheduled appointment with our midwives. They were happy to hear that I was contracting since I was already 4 days past my due date. Upon examination,  they said I was only dilated 1cm (pretty much nothing). This was disappointing for me  since my body was working all night long.  Jason reminded me that dilation does not happen according to the same schedule for everyone and that when my body was ready it would happen.

We got home from the appointment and informed our family that today was probably the day Baby would come.  Everyone left the house to give me some time alone to rest. I rested all day between contractions even though the dog kept barking and it was super annoying. At about 3pm (12 hours) the contractions were too strong to work through them alone.

Jason got home and we moved to our bedroom to labor privately.  It was a long night. I used the birth ball, the wall, the labor pool, the shower, and of course Jason for support and pain relief.  Our midwife Nedra came at about midnight to check on me since my contractions were five minutes apart and about one minute long.  This process continued and the contractions got progressively more painful as morning approached.

Mary (our other midwife) arrived and assisted us through the rest of the labor process. It was long, painful, and hard work!  Hayden arrived at 1:50pm on Saturday and I held him on my chest. He immediately opened his eyes and gazed at me. It was amazing.

Jason was amazing through the entire process. He helped me relax and kept me on track. He continuously reminded why we chose to birth at home with no medication. This kept me motivated through the entire process. I could not have done it without him. Hayden was much bigger than we expected and labor was exhausting but everything turned out how we wanted. We labored and birthed at home naturally and Hayden and I are both healthy and happy.

I left out some details of the labor…Jason and I are going to keep those moments for ourselves. We did post a couple of pictures though :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mandjtoman/sets/72157623567005310/

Come on Baby!